The first moment where I felt God's presence or his grace being put onto me was actually a couple months after I graduated from high school. One of my close high school friends invited me to come to church since my junior year of high school, but I didn't feel any real connection with God at that time until now.
My church, Thanksgiving Korean Church, has separate ministries for high school and college students. So during the promotion service to our college ministry, Burning Tree Ministry, I felt something touch my heart like none another. During the worship and intercession time, I closed my eyes and God gave me visions. I saw my whole life flash before my eyes from hating my parents to smoking and drinking with my friends. I saw that behind my actions I had no purpose in this world or life.
The specific vision I got from the Father was a glass (representing my life) and I saw my physical fist break the glass forcefully. But then God healed my hand and reversed the whole process to when the glass looked full, clean, and holy. I feel like he was telling that even though I messed up until now he's not ashamed of me and he's willing to give me grace through a second chance because he loves me so much.
God specifically says in scriptures that he loves every one of his children even if we don't know or feel it. He is never separate from us and so much bigger than any one of us combined. God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. | Romans 5:8 From that day I just felt an overabundance of love in my heart for others and another revelation to fix the mistakes of my past. He gave me conviction in my heart to do all these things for I am made new in Christ.
God gave his one and only son, Jesus Christ to die on the cross for us sinners. I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me. | Galatians 2:20
So fast forward a couple months later, it was just a process of getting to know Jesus through the Word and prayer. I literally talked to him while driving in the car alone or just screaming out "Jesus!" talking to him like I would to a friend. Then on September 24th, I officially gave my life to Christ and declared over myself that I am a child of God and therefore nothing stands in the way of my salvation and love for God.
I'm still so immature and fail the Lord so many times, but I told him that I would try my hardest to live a fruitful life for his glory and that he may live through me. The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. | Zephaniah 3:17
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